Things To Keep In Mind!!!


   3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

   Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

   Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

   ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...

   For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

   I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

   The beatings will continue until morale improves.

   I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

   Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

   Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.

   Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

   There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

   You should always quit while you're behind or it'll just get worse.

   I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

   Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

   A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

   I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

   Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

   If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

   Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

   If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

   If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

   Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

   Help Wanted: Telepath.  You know where to apply.

   Look out for #1.  Don't step in #2 either.

   Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

   Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

   Do witches run spell checkers?

   Department of Redundancy Department

   Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

   COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

   2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

   Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

   Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

   My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.

   <-------- The information went data way --------

   The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

   The name is Baud......, James Baud.

   Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

   Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

   As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

   Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

   E Pluribus Modem

   ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

   Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

   Does fuzzy logic tickle?

   Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

   Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

   RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

   Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

   DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

   Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

   Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

   Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

   All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

   Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

   Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

   Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

   REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)

   Hit any user to continue.

   Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

   (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?

   Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.